Has Sexual Harassment Policy Become Discrimination Against Gender?

In a recent sexual harassment training seminar that I attended the instructor discussed a new company policy pertaining to terms of endearment. The point being that it is now considered sexual harassment to call a woman honey, dear, baby, sweet heart, etc. OK, that makes sense to me. It is a professional environment, we need to act like professionals right?

It was at this point that one of the ladies who works in the office turned to me and said, "I'm going to have to watch what I say. I'm from down south. I call people sweet heart and honey all the time."

But, then the instuctor said that you aren't allowed to say "ma'am" or "miss". That was the proverbial needle dragging across the record for me. I was brought up to be polite. I don't see calling a woman "Ma'am" as anything but a polite way to address someone when you don't know their name, but apparently now it is sexual harassment. Here is the kicker, the instructor later addressed a man as "sir" when he raised his hand to ask a question. So it is alright to call a man "sir" or "mister", but it is sexual harassment to call a woman "ma'am" or "miss" according to the policy. Hmmm, double standard much? I also noted that all of her examples of sexual harassment were of men harassing women.

hmmm that don't seem fair.

On July 2nd, 1964 Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Civil Rights act into law declaring discrimination for any reason on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, or national origin was illegal in the United States of America.

Lyndon B. Johnson signing the Civil Rights Act in 1964.

It is because of this law that companies are required to have anti-harassment policies. I'm not going to get into all of the why's, but pretty much anyone who is in the work force has probably had to go through some form of harassment training as part of your companies policy to adhere to federal law.

Sexual harassment is just one small part of what companies are trying to combat with their policies. In fact the list has grown since the original list made in 1964. I wonder, though, as those in authority push to protect one side of the equation if the other side is sometimes put at risk of being mistreated. Is it alright to vilify and victimize half the population to protect the other?

This can have serious implications for the accused. Many companies don't even bother with an investigation when someone is accused of sexual harassment. If a person is accused they are automatically fired, end of story. This is often done without offering a person any recourse to defend themselves.

Which begs the question. Are these policies fair to everyone in the work force? According to a recent online study performed by Stop Street Harassment, 81% of women and 46% of men have experienced sexual harassment in their lifetime. While the vast majority of harassment cases are against women there is still a significant number of men who have also been harassed. And some experts think that the number of men may be a little higher than the statistic suggests, because men are less likely to admit to being harassed.

Since 66% of the work force are men that means that almost 31% sexual harassment events are against men. Despite this only around 16.5% of sexual harassment complaints are reported by men according to EEOC statistics.

EEOC Statistics: https://www.eeoc.gov/eeoc/statistics/enforcement/sexual_harassment_new.cfm

EEOC in recent years has noticed that more men are coming forward to file complaints than in the past. In 1990 only 8% of complaints were made by men. By 2010 that number had grown to 14% That is a 75% increase in complaints in just 10 years. The office of Legal Counsel had this to say about the increase.

"It's certainly possible that there's more sexual harassment of men going on, but it could just be that more men are coming forward and complaining about it," said Ernest Haffner, an attorney in the EEOC's Office of Legal Counsel.

While some of these cases involve women harassing men most of the complaints are men harassing men. Sometimes it is sexual advances from homosexuals, but often it is inappropriate horseplay or bullying.

Many victims are hesitant to come forward because they are afraid of being considered unmanly or being derided by co-workers, said Mary Jo O'Neill, a regional attorney in the EEOC's Phoenix District office.

"All sexual harassment victims feel humiliated, lacking control and power," O'Neill said. "This has a different twist because everyone expects that they [men] would be able to handle it and take care of it themselves."

NBC source: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/35706595/ns/business-careers/t/more-men-filing-sexual-harassment-claims/#.WwYBWVMvwWo

I wonder if there isn't really a different dynamic at play here that EEOC is missing (or failing to admit) in their examination of the situation. Here is my hypothesis. I think that many men are having their complaints to HR ignored.

I don't have much experience with the HR system, but I have had some dealings with the domestic court system. Years ago I had a stalker. I won't go into all of the details, but I will say that she committed some serious crimes against me, including breaking into my home and going through my personal items. I tried to get protective orders against her more than once, but I had all of my requests for protective orders denied.

I felt like I was being discriminated against, so I did a little research. What I discovered is that often men who are victims of domestic violence have their requests for protective orders denied more often than women. According to California statistics 72% of restraining orders issued are issued to women against men, and 27% are men against women. About 40% of requests for protection are made by men. That means that men have their requests for protection approved by judges 67.5 % of the time, but women have their requests for protection approved 83% of the time.

This man was attacked by his wife with a knife while he was sleeping. Fortunately they were able to save his life.

I believe that the system has a habit of turning a blind eye to a man's problems. Men are expected to be able to take care of themselves. Women need to be protected not men right? But the facts don't fit the stereotype. Women are just as capable of misbehaving as men are yet society wants to pretend like only men can be bad.

Then you get into all the cases where the system is being abused. According to Foster, BP. (2008). Analyzing the cost and effectiveness of governmental policies. Cost Management Vol. 22, No. 3. In a review of one West Virginia county’s family court, concluded that 81% of restraining orders issued were unnecessary or false.

When we get policies like the one from the employer that say that men are wrong for saying Ma'am or miss does it just open up more opportunities for abuse? Where does it finally end? Do they expect people to start acting like robots at work, where people are so paranoid about interacting with the opposite sex that they barely communicate at all?

Then you get into the effects of social media. Our instructor started talking about people getting fired for comments made on facebook. I know this is nothing new. Everyone knows that this is happening, but the effects can be very dehumanizing. Do we want to create a world where everyone has to walk on eggshells and live in constant paranoia that they might offend someone and lose their job over it? Where does it end?

Democrats caught rigging the primary elections again.

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