*satire*
An anonymous source has come forward claiming to be a former babysitter of Judge Kavanaugh from 52 years ago. The reporter from the New York Grimes says that he found her in a nursing home in northern Maryland.
John Doe reporter, "We learned that a former babysitter of Judge Kavanaugh was staying at Funny Oaks Nursing home so we decided to pay her a visit. Her memory wasn't to good because she is suffering from dementia so we administered an experimental memory enhancing drug called AZT to help her to remember what Kavanaugh was like as a baby. The stories that she told us were blood curdling. Kavanaugh was a very messy baby. She told us that one time he had a poopy diaper and he put his hands in it and pulled out the poop. Then he wiped it on the walls. She even found this old picture of Kavanaugh as a baby where he had drawn all over the walls with a crayon."
There you have it folks. We have an anonymous source that can testify that Judge Kavanaugh violated Maryland anti-graffiti laws when he was only 2 years old. She also claimed that he played with poop. I don't think that violates any laws but it is disgusting. The traumatized baby sitter who is now 76 years old was so traumatized that she kept going back and babysitting this evil child for at least two more years after the crazed rash of graffiti and playing with poop. Obviously this man is unfit to be a supreme court judge. He must be stopped. The FBI needs to investigate this immediately.
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