Scientists are trying to blame global warming on the cows, but I have a different theory. I say it is vegetarians that are out gassing our bovine friends.
According to Popular Science and several other publications cows farting is a serious problem. The logic is that cows are producing Methane which is theorized to be a green house gas that they claim is causing to earth to become warmer. So now we aren't just worried about your SUV, but we are also worried about that steak you had for dinner.
Raising A Stink About Cows
Now while Liberal fake news is raising a stink about cows let's take a logical look at this situation. It is estimated that there are about 1.5 billion cows on earth. Compared to the estimated 7.4 billion people on earth their number is pretty small in comparison. Also take into account all of the other animals, insects, etc. that call the earth home. It is estimated that there are over 8.7 billion species of living creatures, walking, crawling, flying, and swimming all over the world. And all of these creatures are farting. It is an udder crisis isn't it?
One mathematician estimated that given all the forms of life on earth that adds up to more than 20 quintillion life forms all farting up some serious green house gases. That is right 20 quintillion, or 20 billion billion life forms on earth. Now by liberal logic the tiny minority of life forms known as cows are responsible for causing global warming.
But I Say That They Are Wrong!
There is a new consensus though. (As if science were ever determined by consensus. ha ha) Since scientists are theorizing that minorities of creatures can have huge impacts on the environment, vegetarians have come under scrutiny. According to an independent study the average human being farts at least 14 times a day. Jumping Jack Flash that is a lot of gas. However, vegetarians with their larger than average diet of beans, broccoli, and other cruciferous vegetables fart far more than the average omnivorous or carnivorous human being. According to an independent study they fart an average of 1.8 times more often.
Can we bottle that and use it in a rocket?
So the real culprits that are responsible for climate change are not the cows. Rather it is the vegetarians with their super smelly farts that are causing global warming. Now that makes me feel better about having steak for dinner. Perhaps we could harness some of that rocket power to get us to Mars.
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